Fuck You!

FUCK YOU, United States of Postal Service and the Postal Service based Out of New Orleans

Do you see this goddamn bullshit?

FUCKING shipped by GODDAMN PRIORITY MAIL. It’s fucking been a week and I haven’t gotten my shit yet? THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE GODDAMN U.S. GOVERNMENT THAT THEY CAN’T DELIVER A FUCKING LETTER TO SOME GUY IN THE NEW ORLEANS AREA IN A TIMELY MANNER?

THEY CAN FUCKING GO TO WAR AND START A FUCKING DEMOCRACY IN A MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRY AND THEY CAN’T FUCKING GET ME MY FUCKING MAIL ON TIME? WHY THE FUCK AM I PAYING EXTRA FOR THIS SHITTY MAIL SERVICE.

THE U.S. POSTAL SYSTEM AND THE GREATER NEW ORLEANS AREA CAN GO FUCK ITSELF.

16 Apr

00:37 am

FUCK YOU, Starcraft 2 Beta (and Blizzard)!

Do you see this bullshit?

Do

You

See

This

Bullshit?

Let me show you again.

Two to three months into this goddamn beta and what am I looking at? Oh yeah, me not being able to download the goddamn beta.

Here come Blizzard going “La-de-da-de-da, Isn’t life swell? Hope everyone is enjoying their beta! Make a video about Starcraft 2 for a contest! Link to Starcraft 2 Review for a Contest!”

Hey Blizzard, I got a contest for you, it’s called, “How About You fucking release the Mac Beta For Starcraft 2 instead jerking off?” First Place Prize receives the opportunity stop looking like your head’s so far up your ass that you resemble a Klein bottle

That’s right, your head is so far up your ass, that you can only fucking exist in four dimensions. Blizzard, please finish eating that bowl of hot dicks and when you’re ready to get your shit together call me so I can play the goddamn beta you told me you released 3 months ago.

Seriously, go suck a dick. This is what I wake up to every morning. Just go fuck yourselves, Blizzard. I might be pretentious for using a Mac, but you fuckers might as well be the Bourgeois eating out of the fattened Vagina of Mary Antoinette in France for how badly I want to put you through the guillotine.

07 Apr

10:00 am

Fuck You, Trees

Leaves

Really?

More Leaves

Really?

WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO SHED ALL YOUR FUCKING LEAVES FROM LAST SEASON ONTO MY GODDAMN LAWN?

Seriously trees, if you are going to shed, at least pick up after yourselves, but, “NOOOOOOO, I can’t pick up after my self because I’m a stationary plant!” Well why don’t you take your stationary status and shove it up your stationary roots!

You’re not the one raking the lawn SO STOP GIVING ME SHIT TO RAKE! I don’t give a fuck what Al Gore says is fucking necessary for the environment, you give me one more goddamn leaf to pick up and I will FUCK YOU UP!

Every fucking year it’s the same goddamn story. “Well, I don’t need these leaves anymore because the seasons changing.” AND THEN YOU FUCKING GROW BACK THE SAME FUCKING LEAVES AFTER THE SEASON CHANGES AGAIN!! SERIOUSLY, YOU HAD THOSE GODDAMN LEAVES IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THE FUCKING CONNECTION THAT YOU’RE JUST SHEDDING THE SAME SHIT YOU GROW BACK. JUST KEEP THE GODDAMN LEAVES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Or you know, you could go fuck yourselves.

05 Apr

23:29 pm

‘The Last Song’ is based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks, who also wrote the screenplay. Sparks recently went on record as saying he is a greater novelist than Cormac McCarthy. This is true in the same sense that I am a better novelist than William Shakespeare. Sparks also said his novels are like Greek Tragedies. This may actually be true. I can’t check it out because, tragically, no really bad Greek tragedies have survived…
To be sure, I resent the sacrilege Nicholas Sparks commits by mentioning himself in the same sentence as Cormac McCarthy. I would not even allow him to say “Hello, bookstore? This is Nicholas Sparks. Could you send over the new Cormac McCarthy novel?” He should show respect by ordering anonymously."

Roger Ebert in his review of The Last Song

And also:

http://videogum.com/163521/duh-aficionado-magazine-nicholas-sparks-is-a-jerk-and-an-idiot/top-stories/

(via theponytailofseagal)

11:12 am

High-res →

eenaeena:

TRUE STORY this shit just happened. FUCK JOEL OSTEEN AND HIS FUCKING DUMB TELEVANGILIST BULLSHIT. ABCFam lets me down everytime I see this shit.

02 Apr

15:19 pm

Fuck You, Sarah Palin

I don’t know why.

Seriously, I just fucking hate you.

I don’t mean to say that you’re the first politician to bull shit people and you’re not an intelligent woman.

I mean to say I just fucking hate you.

Okay, I lied, I do know why I fucking hate you. It’s because Rush Limbaugh insulted Retarded people and you defended him. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DEFENDING REPUBLICANS WHO MAKE FUN OF RETARDED PEOPLE?!?

How the fuck do you sleep at night you bitch? You just pulled the biggest two faced move of all time. You fucking chewed out Rahm Emanuel and then you let Rush say whatever the fuck he likes?

Well you know what? YOU FUCKING DESERVED BEING MADE FUN OF ON FAMILY GUY IF YOU’RE THAT MUCH OF A TWO FACED BITCH.

I don’t even need to take any more time to say anything. I’ll just let this picture do the talking.